Who's Pitching?
by Uchiha B
Summary: It was just a little bet among the boys of the former 104th Trainees Squad to see who could prove that Corporal Levi was gay with the medic of the Survey Corps, that's all. IY/AoT crack!drabbles, Levi x Mistaken-for-a-boy/sorta cross-dressing!Kagome
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Umm yeah...

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"Corporal Clean-Freak is gay."

That nonchalant statement from Jean immediately had the males from the former 104th Trainees Squad in an uproar from sheer surprise and shock.

"What the hell makes you think that!?" Eren asked loudly, blinking a few times at his so-called rival, "Not that it really matters if he is, but he and Petra seem pretty close."

"I saw it," Jean shrugged, "Behind the stables when I was cleaning them. He was pretty much shoving his tongue down the throat of that little combat medic."

"You mean that girlie-looking one?" Reiner asked thoughtfully before he smirked, "He looks even girlier than you, Armin, and that's saying something." He then received an exasperated look from said blond boy, but brushed it off.

"What was his name again?" Eren muttered, frowning slightly, "All I can remember about him is that he's Asian like Mikasa."

"It's Kagome Higurashi," Armin shook his head and sighed, "You really should remember that, Eren. After all, he's the only combat medic in the Survey Corps. He could end up saving your life one day."

"Point is that I saw them making out," Jean interrupted, "Who would have thought, huh? Wonder if Corporal Clean-Freak tops or what..."

"Higurashi is definitely a bottom," Connie snickered, "Have you taken a look at him lately? He isn't even that much taller than Krista. I doubt he could top anyone if he tried."

"I don't think we should really be talking about their personal lives like this..." Armin said, but was pretty much ignored by his comrades, including Eren much to his dismay.

"All right, I say we have a little bet," Reiner dared, "The first one who can prove it gets everyone else's bread for the week. You all in?"

Armin sighed again when almost everyone quickly agreed to the terms of the bet with confidence that they would win, "Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

This could only lead to trouble...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Rated: M

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"You're being strange lately."

The comment had Levi pausing and he glanced up from the cup of tea that Kagome had just served him, "What the hell does that mean?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Even your own squad is beginning to notice," Kagome's voice lowered into an embarrassed whisper, despite the fact they were alone in his office, "You're being more... _affectionate_."

"Do my... 'affections' bother you?" Levi asked, but didn't bother to wait for an answer, "I wouldn't have to be if you stopped doubting yourself."

"What does that mean?" Kagome blinked, unsure what he was referring to and she began to run her fingers through her hair before she abruptly stopped, recalling the current length of said hair.

"I told you many times before that your hair was too damn long to begin with," Levi noticed her action immediately, "But did you listen? You have only yourself to blame that a Titan managed to get a hold of it."

"B-but the new cadets seem to think I am a boy!" Kagome sniffled, her hands moving unconsciously to her chest, which probably had the appearance of being flat due to the tight bandages she used, "You didn't have to cut my hair to begin with! I could have saved myself, you know..."

"Your gender is irrelevant to me," Levi took in her now gawking features, "Your appearance is quite androgynous as of this moment. It is no surprise to me that the shitty new recruits can't tell the difference."

"You would like me even if I was male!?" Kagome flushed at the thought, "Well, it _was_ pretty surprising to me that you liked any gender to start with. I just thought you were kind of asexual."

Levi's brow twitched and he slowly got to move around his desk, "Want to say that to me again, brat?" He trapped her against the wall, smirking when she flushed deeper and began to stammer incomprehensibly, "If I must use my 'affection' to distract you from minor shit, then so be it."

"I'm starting to think that's just an excuse now," Kagome managed to get out, "You're secretly just a huge pervert, aren't you?" She squeaked when his lips stopped just before her own and his hands slid down her waist.

"Cheeky brats need to be punished..."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Rated: M

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"That's proof right there."

The males all glanced up at Jean's comment, rather eager to see any definite evidence that Levi really _was_ with that combat medic.

"What is?" Eren blinked, seeing that Higurashi was simply walking by the stables with his face buried in a notepad, "That's not much to see."

"If that's not favouritism, then I don't know what is," Jean shrugged, "Higurashi is free to do whatever he likes while we are stuck shovelling horse shit for the afternoon," He huffed slightly, "Higurashi must be a really good lay."

"Even Petra isn't exempt from cleaning," Eren stopped for a moment, staring hard at medic, who was now scribbling in his notepad, "Higurashi really does have to be important to Captain Levi if he doesn't have to clean like the rest of us."

"That's not fair," Connie complained, "Even if Higurashi looks like a cute girl," His face turned a bit defensive when everyone stared at him for the comment, "What? Just stating the truth here!"

"Of course Higurashi is exempt from cleaning," Armin sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead, "He's the only medic in the Survey Corps! He's on duty at all times _and_ he has to deal with all of our medical paperwork."

And as expected, he was utterly ignored.

"He's coming this way!" Eren hissed as he and his comrades all stood up straighter and slammed their hands to their chests in a salute, "Medical Officer Higurashi!" And it was clear one thing was obvious once Higurashi finally stopped before them with a bright smile.

He really _was_ as cute as a girl.


End file.
